lately

lately i've been singing and playing guitar. i usually play and sing the song 'Hallelujah" although i'm sure i may be butchering it. it's got a beautiful tune and the lyrics are amazing. i've also been being introspective lately. i've been thinking.
high school is only a tiny fraction of your life, so why does it seem like forever?
can you really be committed to loving someone for 4 or 5 straight years?
how do i get through the days when he never smiles?
do good things really come to those who wait?
why is these always that one person who can make you doubt yourself, even if you know there's nothing wrong with you?
nothing impresses the mountains or the sky, or so they say, so why are we all driven harshly to do everything exactly they way it "should" be?
who or what determines what is right versus what is wrong?
why does every pretty girl who walks near him make me feel ugly and like i'll never be good enough?
why can't i accept who i am and love myself?
why does ramon noodle soup make me sick?
if he loved my friend, could i forgive either of them? or would it be too much?
why do i hate her so much?
none of these questions seem to have an answer. except the second one. i have living, heartache proof of that fact. and it's me.