i told you so

i told you this was an every-once-in-a-while blog. i feel no need to make excuses about where i've been, since i've been here the whole time.
i feel like writing more somewhat depressing poetry. i hope you like it. and remember -- as Andrew seems to be the only one who knows, i write my crappy free verse about OTHER PEOPLE, not myself. i'm not at all vain like that.
am i in denial?
am i afraid?
what's the matter with me?
you're perfect
everything i ever could have wished for
but yet i just can't say
i love you
those words won't go past my lips
they grab my tongue or my tonsils
they won't come out
and because i can't voice my love for you
for whatever reason
you don't know it
you think you're just my boy toy
but if you knew
how much more than that you mean to me
it would blow your mind
i don't care what they think
i don't care what they say
because i know i'm in love with you
but i'm too afraid of losing you to say it


it's a love story

helen posted on her and Sunday's blog about how she thinks i'm in love with Andrew.
i've been feeling a little better lately, but not much.
life just kinda gets me down.
so i am in love, that much is true. but it's not Andrew. i won't tell you who it is. that's my secret.
according to my sidebar, i'm a liar if i don't tell you my secret.
then my pants are metaphorically on fire.