i told you so

i told you this was an every-once-in-a-while blog. i feel no need to make excuses about where i've been, since i've been here the whole time.
i feel like writing more somewhat depressing poetry. i hope you like it. and remember -- as Andrew seems to be the only one who knows, i write my crappy free verse about OTHER PEOPLE, not myself. i'm not at all vain like that.
----
am i in denial?
am i afraid?
what's the matter with me?
you're perfect
everything i ever could have wished for
but yet i just can't say
i love you
those words won't go past my lips
they grab my tongue or my tonsils
they won't come out
and because i can't voice my love for you
for whatever reason
you don't know it
you think you're just my boy toy
but if you knew
how much more than that you mean to me
it would blow your mind
i don't care what they think
i don't care what they say
because i know i'm in love with you
but i'm too afraid of losing you to say it

myob

everyone's been posting their personal opinion about the tattoo thing with me and Andrew. it kind of bugs me, but i can't stop them. that's how life is. stuff bugs you, but you can't do anything about it. life sucks sometimes. it sure is a roller coaster. or more like a river. sometimes it's rough and you wanna jump ship, but sometimes it's calm and easygoing and you wanna stay there in that moment forever.